I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Randomize
