Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
