im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
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