She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
