The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
