And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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