have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Well I just put wine in my tea
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
