So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
