is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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