I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
