i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
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She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
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I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm really busy with my period
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