I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
