I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
