i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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