Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
