i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
