mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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