It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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