Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
