i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
