What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
My feet surprised me
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