he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
