He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
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Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
How's work?
Spinning.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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