no, he came in my armpit
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
