I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
She needs sedatives and a leash
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
