just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
