yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
