Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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