How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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