I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
