Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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