she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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