Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
