..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
