Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
