It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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