whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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