I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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