I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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