You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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