Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
