At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
it's great music for shaving your balls
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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