you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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