My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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