Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
