They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
