All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
