You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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