I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
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