if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize