I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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