My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
