How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize