I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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