i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
What happened to fro yo and sex?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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