I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize