you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
