we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize