i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
