I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
