hotel room ftw
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
