I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
