Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
