it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
