Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
